2014 – The Year of Change



It’s finally 2014. A new year and a new chance to do things right this time. Although it seems silly to wait until January 1st to pursue new hobbies, diets, exercising routines, etc. there is just something about the beginning of a new year that makes the future seem hopefully and anything attainable.

2013 as a whole was full of ups and downs. Very high highs and drastically low lows. There were times that I just wished time could stand still and yet pray for days to fly by. I married my best friend and we started the process to begin our family. I left one job to try something different. I managed to lose a little bit of weight only to gain some of it back during The Holidays, but I am ok with that.

Below is a list of my New Year’s Resolutions, although it is more a list of promises I’d like to keep for myself. Resolutions2

I’ve wanted to try my hand at yoga for sometime now because I find it fascinating. But, after watching a yoga video on Youtube a year or so ago and trying to bend and flex my pudgy body into even the simplest poses I gave up. Embarrassed in my own home, and I chalked it up to being a thin person’s exercise that I would try at a much later date when I wouldn’t get winded trying to touch my toes. Recently I found a few Instagram accounts of plus sized yogis bending and stretching and it gave me hope that even though I may be bigger than some, I could do yoga just the same. I’m excited to see where this new exercise takes me.

Another positive healthy promise I have for myself is to make better eating choices. Sometimes, ok most of the time, I make poor eating choices out of laziness or convenience. I’ve decided I want to try eating a Paleo diet and have done some research on what that will entail. I’m interested in the Paleo diet because it allows me to eat enough food without feeling restricted as long as the food isn’t processed or heavy on carbs. I think it’s something I can do and hopefully it will help me lose a few pounds to aid in the baby making process.

My third resolution to take better care of myself overall is a culmination of things. I tend to put others wants in front of my own, and I weigh people’s opinions of me heavily and I’m over it. At the end of the day I have to be the one living my life not letting others dictate it for me. Also, I’m lazy and don’t take the time to get pedicures or massages. I never meditate or reflect on a positive self image. I am excruciatingly hard on myself and I need to start practicing more self love and acceptance. I’m my worst critic and I need to start easing up so I can grow instead of harbor hurt feelings or notions of failure. I try to be humble but sometimes I should toot my own horn because not many people do it for me.

Lastly, I want to focus more on this blog, my writing and photography. I enjoy writing more than anything and I take pride in capturing moments on camera. I haven’t dedicated nearly enough time out of fear it won’t be good enough for readers or viewers. I hold myself back for reasons I’m still learning but I want to continue growing my writing abilities and photography skills.

Overall, this next year will be full of self growth and acceptance I’m finally ready for it. I’ve been putting it off for a long time because I’ve always thought that once I’m thin things will get much better and I can be a happier healthier me. But, why wait for something that may never come? I’m fully worth time and effort to be put back into myself that I put out to others.

I finally ready to say goodbye to 2013. Hello 2014.






Censored Uncensored



I’m one full week in to my copywriting course and I’m already finding myself holding back. Each section of the course has various assignments that need to be completed before the following week and in this first section one of the assignments is to be shocking. Write about a topic that would shock your most meaningful editor, your mom, your pastor or whomever you hold as an important critic in your life.

I chose my mom. Now you don’t have to turn in the assignment or ever show that person what you wrote but the idea is to get yourself to find your true inner voice. To unleash the beast within in order to become a better and more aware writer. Even though I know my mom will never read the half page of copy I wrote I still couldn’t manage to un-censor myself.

I’m pretty much an open book when I’m talking to people. I can ramble on about myself and my life for hours on end but when it comes to writing I do feel restrained. Not only is there physical proof of the things I’m thinking but I’ve been trained to write a specific way and to be professional or academic for the most part.

Even when I’m writing in this very blog I find myself editing as I type to stay positive or not to touch on specific topics out of precaution that I might offend someone. From here on out I have to change my own self censorship in order to be a better writer and better blogger.

Do you censor yourself when you write or blog? What ways do you keep from silencing yourself?


Why 2013 Is Going To Be My Bitch – Part 2



As we all know on Tuesday 2013 began but what you didn’t know was that a little part of me was stuck in 2012. I lazed around literally all day watching an Alien movie marathon. I spent time cuddling with the pups, snacking on party leftovers and just over all relaxing with Justine. It felt good but a part of me, the 2013 part, was making me feel guilty for basking in the extra day of laziness.

Many people have resolutions to lose weight, stop smoking or dealing crack, finally clean under their bed. Whatever you resolve to do this year I hope you make it through and conclude this year thinner, sans-cigarettes, crackless and with a clean bed. But for me, the only thing I resolve to do is be a better me.

Like many people I too wish to shed a few dozen unwanted pounds but I can’t do that unless I be the best me I can imagine. I’m not going to be so lazy. I’m not going to be so defeated before even trying. I’m not going to be so down and blue and negative about everything.

Instead I’m being proactive by starting to tackle projects I’ve put off in fear of failing. I’m slowly but surely changing my daily eating habits. I’m also looking for the positives in situations and trying to not dwell on the “what if’s.”

Another non-resolution I have is to finish a story I started writing about 4 years ago and try to get it self published. To add more fuel to the fire The Beast Bakery will be relaunching in March. It’s not what you think and I hope to surprise a lot of you with the changes to come.

What are you resolving to do this year?


Why 2013 Is Going To Be My Bitch – Part 1


Being that there is less and five days until the New Year I’ve been thinking about my resolutions and settled on a few good ones that I’d really like to stick to this time around. I love to write. I’ve referenced my writing passion in a few posts, which you can take the time to find archived if you wish. I don’t write nearly as much as I would like to and that can be chalked up to laziness and writing blocks.

Also, reading is another passion of mine. When I was a kid I would stay up really late reading books in my room with a flashlight. Actually I’ve done that all my life. I devour books and can’t put them down until they are completely done. Don’t get me started on book series, I could read each book back to back and never want them to end.

What does any of this have to do with anything? Well, as much as I would love to be a full time writer and reader I’d settle on being a full time copywriter. For Christmas I asked Santa Justine for the copywriting self study course by Ashley Amirge of The Middle Finger Project. Justine came through and now I am the proud student of this awesome course.

The Middle Finger Project -Copy-writing Workshop

It’s an eight week self study course filled with videos, assignments, and in depth knowledge of becoming a successful copywriter. I’m excited because this way I’ll be able to use my already impressive writing skills to become a full time self sufficient contractor. Hopefully by the end of the course I’ll have the beginnings of a well put together portfolio and at the very least have new skills to make this blog even better.

2013 is going to be my bitch because I’m going to finally escape the confines of a traditional 9-5.

Bring it on 2013. I hope you’re ready.


Oh God, I’m One of Those


You know those people that will do anything for a buck. Well almost anything, short of selling their grandmother or selling crack  or walking the street. Those people that come up with the next big thing and it’ll just take them a few more tries until they get it just right. I’m one of them. Or was one of them until came to my senses.

I’m tired of “chasing the dream” when I can’t even remember what the dream really is anymore. I’ve done everything I’m supposed to in life, thus far at least.  I’m chugging right along, but I’m not happy. I’m not fulfilled. I have a decent paying job that pays the bills. I have decades ahead of me that can be wasted at this job but I don’t want to continue on this melancholy existence of working for “The Man.” But, I don’t want to be one “those people” that others refer to as a fast talking, money chasing, failing entrepreneurs. At least I won’t sell my grandmother or sell crack and I’d never walk the streets.

I know at heart I’ll never really be content sitting behind a desk in a room filled with cubicles being washed over with fluorescent lights humming throughout the silent screams each person makes while they type and click for 8 hours a day five days a week.  I tally the days on a 3 by 5 card at my desk, slowly counting until I’ve had enough and grow enough courage to just call it quits and finally do what I want in life.

I don’t want to be one of those people either. One of those people that give up on life and succumbs to the mundane existence of attempting to live the “American Dream.” I fight day in and day out to maintain some kind of sanity while I commute even though I have an epic battle within myself. A part of me says, “Just don’t do it. Quit. Stay home and start writing instead. You can make a living blogging and you can finish that book you started years ago. What about the mobile boutique you wanted? You can live off of saltine crackers and everyone will understand if the wedding isn’t as lavish as they thought it would be.”

Then there’s the rational side that screams,” GO TO WORK. You have to make a living and no you can never make it as a writer. There are already so many of them. No one reads your stupid blog anyway and you have to work. All of your previous ‘businesses’ have failed. SO GO TO WORK.” That side always wins and I find myself pulling up to my job, getting out of my car, and sitting in my cubicle pretending to be fulfilled.

Either way, I am one of those and worst of all I’m both. One day I’ll be neither, eventually. /rant

Until then I’ll keep on keeping on and promise to write more on the blog.


A Little This and A Little That


Oh so you want to know what I’ve been up to lately outside in the real world? Ok I’ll fill you in. Besides planning our wedding and work part time as a marketing/sales slave I’ve had a secret I’ve been keeping from you all, but before we get to that let’s start with some fun stuff shall we?

Sometime last week I decided I needed to do something with my hair. I’ve been on a life changing kick so the first thing to go was my old hairstyle. My original haircut was an outgrown a-line bob and for anyone that has ever had an a-line bob they know that if you don’t keep up it up with regular trimming it’ll look real gross real fast. Well I hadn’t kept it up and I finally decided I had enough. I got my a-line trimmed to a regular bob and that way just the start. In August 2010 I bleached my entire head blond and let’s just say it didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I covered it with dark brown hair color and called it a day. Well with the haircut I finally got the last bit of blond cut out and of course I would ruin my virgin hair with dye. This time I went read.

Unfortunately, you can’t see the difference but I promise I’ll get a better picture soon. Well that Saturday night I went to see Brave for the second time with Adrianna followed by a lively dinner at her favorite restaurant, Buffalo Wild Wings. I ate a gross salad then sent it back even though the waitress actually tried to convince me that brown lettuce is the color lettuce should be, um no thanks lady. I spent the night alone because Justine went and visited her grandfather that recently was admitted to the hospital due to pneumonia that turned into something more serious.

The following morning I ventured out to the local farmer’s market with my friend, Jayme and then we hit up Jim-Denny’s for breakfast. The restaurant has been on Man Vs. Food and is home of the “Hub-Cap” (pictured above). The food is amazing the customer service however is the worst, so beware.

I’ve been kind of stressed out lately because of the family issue we are dealing with and as a result I’ve been cooking and baking up a storm. I made some bomb-ass (yes it’s a legit word) shrimp fettucini alfredo — FROM SCRATCH BITCHES! — It was amazeballs (yes another legit word). I will be posting the recipe as a Tasty Tuesday next week, you’re welcome. I also baked some delicious chocolate white chocolate chip cookies. Again amazing and it will be a future Tasty Tuesday post. Again, you’re welcome.

Other than all the domestic shit I’ve been doing I have been scheming and planning. Here is where we get to the goods. The “TOP SECRET” mission I’ve been planning.

I’ve been spending a lot of time here at my desk (I arranged those flowers into a big ball as a trial run for a wedding post) planning a new website for a new business I will be launching September 1st. That’s all I’m telling you right now. I have a special post this weekend where I’m spilling the beans on the whole she-bang.

In the mean time here’s a sneak peek:

BTW the entire post was written while buzzed. I’ve had two glasses of wine and a malt beverage, the fact that I haven’t eaten since about 11am has these little drinks making me feel a little fuzzy. Buzzed blogging might just become a thing. 😉





The Versatile Blogger Nominations


When I boast I tend to do it jokingly. More like mocking myself so that others can laugh but still think, “Hey maybe she is right. Maybe Erika is the world’s most accomplished procrastinator and all time dog-mom of the year. ” Either way I like to think that I am fairly modest and in no way egotistical.

Last Sunday, after I had posted about my fear of failure, a local Sacramento blogger, Olivia Bryon, nominated me for an amazing web-blog award. Whether or not I actually get an award is beyond my knowledge but it came at my surprise that someone actually likes what I write. Other than myself that is, because for the most part even though I am my own harshest critic I like to re-read my posts over and over again. Olivia is an amazingly constant blogger and I love that what she writes is genuine and upbeat.

She wrote a very pleasant sentiment about my blogging style and it confirmed that maybe, just maybe I should keep this up this time around. I cannot thank Olivia enough for adding fire to my passion. Even though we haven’t met in person just yet I would gladly hug the daylights out of her and give her a solid high-five as thanks.

There are rules to follow so I will now mention 7 random things about myself.

1. I am deathly afraid of butterflies, moths, dragonflies, horseflies and most other flying bugs larger than the size of a quarter. There has been many a times where I have run flailing my limbs and screaming my head off because one of the previously listed bugs has made its way into our house and flown in my general direction.

2. I hate throwing up. I went from the age of 5 to 23 without throwing up. Then one night I got drunk with my parents at a Chili’s and puked mixed drinks for about an hour the next morning. Never again.

3. I wouldn’t mind adopting an English Bulldog. Justine has always wanted one and even though we have 3 ridiculously spoiled and partially trained dogs, I would love to add a big fat fatty bully to our pack just because.

4. I want to start crafting but for some reason I’m still a little scared to start. I know I’m weird.

5. Sometimes I forget I’m fat. I’m not morbidly obese but am about eighty-hundred pounds give or take a few ounces overweight. Ok the way that reads would make me seem morbidly obese but you have to see my shape to understand.  Ha that sounds even worse. I’m going to stop here.

6. I don’t find men sexually attractive but there’s something about big muscular guys (ie. Chris Hemsworth as Thor), Jake Gyllenhaal & Ryan Gosling that makes me blush. It’s weird because when people ask me, if you could have sex with any celebrity and it had to be a guy, I still don’t think I could make myself actually do the dirty with any of them.

7. I used to fight the fact that I am so quirky and weird but over time I’ve come to embrace my weirdness. I love that I sing in the car all the time even though I don’t know the words. And, sometimes I dance randomly, at home, at work, in public while shopping. I just can’t help it.

OK next step: Award to 15 bloggers

These blogs I read day in and day out. Only about two of them I know in real life but here goes:

1. Pill’s Place – http://pillsplace.blogspot.com/ (We used to craft together and I wish we kept in touch after the craft group came to an end because she’s an amazing woman and I love to be a cyber-weirdo and read her blog. Sorry to sound so creepy.)

2. A Beautiful Mess – http://www.abeautifulmess.com/ (I’ve read this blog for years.)

3. JaderBomb – http://jaderbomb.com/ (I just started reading this blog but It’s a daily occurrence now)

4. Oh So Lovely Vintage – http://ohsolovelyvintage.blogspot.com/ ( I can’t get enough of this adorable blog)

5. Little Chief HoneyBee – http://honeybeeinthecity.blogspot.com/ (If I could wake up tomorrow and  be someone different it would be this amazing girl. I’m so jealous, I hope to be half as awesome as her someday.)

6. Sometimes Sweet – http://sometimessweet.blogspot.com/ (I’ve read this blog for a really long time and I love how it has and continues to evolve as does the amazing writer.)

7. I Am Kaytea – http://iamkaytea.blogspot.com/ (She was my homegirl in the craft group that fell apart and I wish she didn’t move so far away but I love to read her blog and follow her journeys through mommy-dom.)

8. Tea Talk – http://www.chelsea-bird.com/ ( I love her style and self portraits.)

9. Making it Lovely – http://makingitlovely.com/ (I hope to one day have such an amazing blog like this one.)

Sadly this is the complete list of blogs I follow and read. I will have to continue on my search for other kick-ass blogs to read so next time I can complete the 15 required.

Thank you again Olivia.