2014 – The Year of Change

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Resolutions

It’s finally 2014. A new year and a new chance to do things right this time. Although it seems silly to wait until January 1st to pursue new hobbies, diets, exercising routines, etc. there is just something about the beginning of a new year that makes the future seem hopefully and anything attainable.

2013 as a whole was full of ups and downs. Very high highs and drastically low lows. There were times that I just wished time could stand still and yet pray for days to fly by. I married my best friend and we started the process to begin our family. I left one job to try something different. I managed to lose a little bit of weight only to gain some of it back during The Holidays, but I am ok with that.

Below is a list of my New Year’s Resolutions, although it is more a list of promises I’d like to keep for myself. Resolutions2

I’ve wanted to try my hand at yoga for sometime now because I find it fascinating. But, after watching a yoga video on Youtube a year or so ago and trying to bend and flex my pudgy body into even the simplest poses I gave up. Embarrassed in my own home, and I chalked it up to being a thin person’s exercise that I would try at a much later date when I wouldn’t get winded trying to touch my toes. Recently I found a few Instagram accounts of plus sized yogis bending and stretching and it gave me hope that even though I may be bigger than some, I could do yoga just the same. I’m excited to see where this new exercise takes me.

Another positive healthy promise I have for myself is to make better eating choices. Sometimes, ok most of the time, I make poor eating choices out of laziness or convenience. I’ve decided I want to try eating a Paleo diet and have done some research on what that will entail. I’m interested in the Paleo diet because it allows me to eat enough food without feeling restricted as long as the food isn’t processed or heavy on carbs. I think it’s something I can do and hopefully it will help me lose a few pounds to aid in the baby making process.

My third resolution to take better care of myself overall is a culmination of things. I tend to put others wants in front of my own, and I weigh people’s opinions of me heavily and I’m over it. At the end of the day I have to be the one living my life not letting others dictate it for me. Also, I’m lazy and don’t take the time to get pedicures or massages. I never meditate or reflect on a positive self image. I am excruciatingly hard on myself and I need to start practicing more self love and acceptance. I’m my worst critic and I need to start easing up so I can grow instead of harbor hurt feelings or notions of failure. I try to be humble but sometimes I should toot my own horn because not many people do it for me.

Lastly, I want to focus more on this blog, my writing and photography. I enjoy writing more than anything and I take pride in capturing moments on camera. I haven’t dedicated nearly enough time out of fear it won’t be good enough for readers or viewers. I hold myself back for reasons I’m still learning but I want to continue growing my writing abilities and photography skills.

Overall, this next year will be full of self growth and acceptance I’m finally ready for it. I’ve been putting it off for a long time because I’ve always thought that once I’m thin things will get much better and I can be a happier healthier me. But, why wait for something that may never come? I’m fully worth time and effort to be put back into myself that I put out to others.

I finally ready to say goodbye to 2013. Hello 2014.

 

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Cheers,
EA

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Why 2013 Is Going To Be My Bitch – Part 2

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2013

As we all know on Tuesday 2013 began but what you didn’t know was that a little part of me was stuck in 2012. I lazed around literally all day watching an Alien movie marathon. I spent time cuddling with the pups, snacking on party leftovers and just over all relaxing with Justine. It felt good but a part of me, the 2013 part, was making me feel guilty for basking in the extra day of laziness.

Many people have resolutions to lose weight, stop smoking or dealing crack, finally clean under their bed. Whatever you resolve to do this year I hope you make it through and conclude this year thinner, sans-cigarettes, crackless and with a clean bed. But for me, the only thing I resolve to do is be a better me.

Like many people I too wish to shed a few dozen unwanted pounds but I can’t do that unless I be the best me I can imagine. I’m not going to be so lazy. I’m not going to be so defeated before even trying. I’m not going to be so down and blue and negative about everything.

Instead I’m being proactive by starting to tackle projects I’ve put off in fear of failing. I’m slowly but surely changing my daily eating habits. I’m also looking for the positives in situations and trying to not dwell on the “what if’s.”

Another non-resolution I have is to finish a story I started writing about 4 years ago and try to get it self published. To add more fuel to the fire The Beast Bakery will be relaunching in March. It’s not what you think and I hope to surprise a lot of you with the changes to come.

What are you resolving to do this year?

Cheers,
EA

Rebooting – My Juice Fast Adventure – Day 1

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Well, well, well. What do we have here? Erika fell for another diet fad? Of course! A few weeks ago my mom insisted that I watch the movie “Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead.” I caved in and watched it. Then I watched it again with Justine and decided that I would take the plunge and begin juice fasting. I came up with a plan and on Black Friday I went out and bought myself a brand new juicer.

I gave myself a good solid week of being a fatty and eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Saturday evening was our engagement dinner to which I engorged myself to top capacity. Yesterday I had my last hooray eating a deliciously cheesy, melty, greasy, cheeseburger and fries after consuming two cinnamon buttered rolls from Texas Roadhouse. I had a good run.

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This morning I woke up excited and a little overwhelmed, got ready for work and juiced my breakfast and lunch. The picture above is my “Breakfast” Mean Green Juice. I accidently added too much ginger to this one, but now I know how much too much is. Originally I felt optimistic about the entire process I have started. This is an outstanding chance to start over. Really detox and get myself clean. I’ve been eating so much garbage I know my body needs this.

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I’m not wearing makeup today because I wanted to give my face a breather. Plus I wanted to show my true emotions of the moment. I feel miserable. It’s only been twelve and a half hours and already I’m feeling starved. I have a headache, fatigue and irritability. I can only imagine that this is how drug addicts and alcoholics feel while there are rehab but unfortunately I’m not at some plush resort in a comfy bed sweating it out. I’m sitting at work trying to stay busy and keep my mind off of wanting to eat the entire left side of a McDonald’s menu.

No one said this is going to be easy and I’m only have way through day 1. God help me.

Cheers,
EA

Fatty-Fatty-Boomba-Latty

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Hello, I’m Erika Ashley and I’m fat. Not circus fat or “Holy-Fat-Batman!” but if I don’t getting my eating habits under control I might be headed in that direction. We’re almost 6 months until the wedding and a few months ago I attempted to count calories and exercise religiously.

I did really well for two almost three weeks. I weighed myself often (I know strike one), didn’t consult my doctor (strike two) and then tried to keep up with those skinny fit bitches in the P90X dvds (strike three). I burned out because of over doing it. I binged on anything and everything I could eat and didn’t stop. I haven’t gained any weight and haven’t lost so there is an upside.

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I thought I was doomed to be fat for the rest of my life and in a way I gave up on trying to be a healthy fit bride. Then recently a few subjects about eating habits and health have began to arise. The best man of our wedding and good friend of ours told us that him and his girlfriend have gone vegan because of a documentary they watched.

WHAT?!

This guy, who can eat two double bacon cheeseburgers in a sitting, went vegan over a movie?! I mean I’ve seen Food, Inc. and went pescetarian for a few weeks, but full fledged vegan? I found that hard to swallow.

Then my mom told me about a documentary she watched- Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and how she juice fasted for 10 days and lost nearly 15 pounds. She added that she hasn’t felt this good in a long time and that I just had to watch the movie. Mom emailed me the trailer and I watched it on my phone in between television commercials. I gave in a few days later and watched the entire film with Justine.

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Immediately after finishing the movie I turned to Justine and proclaimed that I will too take the Reboot challenge. I continued to research the ins and outs of this temporary diet and found nothing but positive results. Being that the entire diet is 60 days I think I can stick with it especially because of the overall payoff.

I’m starting to practice my juice diet fast by drinking my lunches and I’ve done it for the past two days. Given that tomorrow is the day of all feasts I won’t start completely going juice only until December 2nd.

I’m excited. I think I can really do this. Have you tried juicing? What are your thoughts? I’d love to read your insight.

Cheers,
EA

I’m Fat

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Ugh. I admit it. Well I’ve admitted to being fat hundred if not thousands of times before, but this time it’s different. I hate the feeling of being constantly tired. You know that feeling, the feeling of always wanting to to just lay down… Or maybe you don’t. Whatever don’t judge.
This year I promised myself I would change my eating habits and it’s a real struggle changing 20+ years of poor eating. I’m not a grazer, the kind of person that constantly snacks, in fact I only eat 3 meals a day. Where I was going wrong was the type of foods I would eat. I love going to a fast food restaurant, pointing to a number on a menu and receiving hot delicious food in return for money. Coupled with being in a committed relationship where my girlfriend doesn’t mind me being overweight I never really had a reason to lose the weight.

I mean sure who doesn’t want to be fit and attractive? I sure as hell do, but I don’t have anything to truly motivate me. In the past month I have lost 5 pounds but then I gained 2 pounds back because I’ve slipped up the last week or so. Boo. The only thing I can do is keep on keeping on.

I finally have something to motivate me. I have always wanted to wear a hoochie costume for Halloween but never had the body to wear something that revealing. I plan on buying a sexy costume and wearing it on Halloween. I will lose the weight. Just you watch.

Tomorrow is a new day. And I plan on owning it.

Cheers,
EA