Mission: BABY Update 1

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What’s going on the Baby D making department? Nothing much quite honestly.

Thus far I have done 2 cycles using only Clomid to induce ovulation. The first month I was on 100mg and the second month they upped me to 150mg. Each month I received false positives on the Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPK) tests I took. But, the second month of Clomid I had an ultrasound that showed the largest follicle measured only 9mm. (Basically squat happened since most follicles are around 5-7mm at all times before ovulation. ) Because nothing really happened and I didn’t actually ovulate the cycle was canceled.

The next month, which was this month, my doctor’s put me on a “mixed” medication cycle. I not only took 100mg of Clomid for 5 days, I also injected 1 vial of Menopur once a day for 3 days. After another ultrasound the doctor measured my largest follicle at 7.5mm. Another bunk month. We canceled this cycle and now I’m just waiting until after Christmas to start taking Provera to bring on the next cycle.

I’ve felt fairly defeated and frustrated because I knew from the beginning that this was going to be difficult but my doctor’s wanted to “start things slow” instead of being more aggressive with medications. So far we’ve wasted a couple thousands of dollars just trying things out. Doctor’s think you’re made of money, because they are, and that you can waste time and energy each month because to them it’s just another work day. I’ve already seen three different doctors and finally the last one I met with understood me and my frustration.

He owned up to the mistake of taking things slowly and wasting an entire month on Clomid when they should have moved to a mixed cycle to begin with. It was relieving to finally feel like I was being listened to and having someone on my side. Next cycle will be much more aggressive but also much more expensive. I don’t like thinking that trying to have a baby is a strenuous financial burden, but it’s not just about the money. It’s expensive emotionally.

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I spend hours, worrying, praying, hoping, being optimistic and focusing all of my energy on growing an egg that just might make it to an insemination. It’s stressful and then each month I get told either nothing happened or not enough happened. “We can just try again.” “Next month it might take.” “It’s your decision.” When really it isn’t. It’s exhausting and when people tell me, “It’s in God’s hands,” or it’s in “God’s time.” I get beyond outraged.

It’s not in HIS hands because it’s in my Doctor’s and my body’s ability and it’s in MY pocketbook. Until you have to deal with the stress and heartache of going through such a strenuous ordeal don’t tell me that it’s out of my control. People use God as excuse for their failures and not owning up to their mistakes. I’d rather thank Him for a miracle than be upset with Him for making me “wait for His timing.”

Anyways, I digress and that got a little heated. Sorry for that. Next cycle we might actually see more progress and I’m excited for that. We just have to get past The Holidays.

Hopefully 2014 will be our year for Baby D!

Cheers,
EA