Evolution of a Beast

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Hey Beautiful,

I know I haven’t been around for you. I’m sorry. I truly am. I’ve been working, I’ve been working really hard. Not only am I working my regular 9-5, but I’m trying to grow my dream into something real. No, no, no you’re my dream too. I promise. It’s just that this other thing I’ve been working on is a little bigger than just us. Don’t give me that face. You mean a lot to me too, don’t you ever forget that.

I promise I’m going to come around a lot more because I have some really exciting things to share with you. I know you’ll like them. Let me tell you a little about what I’ve been doing while I’ve been gone…

I know I said I wanted to start a mobile boutique, well thanks to city and county rules and regulations it’s a little too complicated to get that going at the moment. But, I’ve decided to bite the bullet and just do what I’ve always wanted to do. OPEN A BAKERY.

Beautiful, don’t you dare think I’m going to have just another run-of-the-mill-cupcake-making bakery. This bakery is going to be a BEAST. LITERALLY. I started The Beast Bakery. It’s still a baby beast at the moment. So far I’ve had two real orders. I am still working out some kinks but believe me this is going to be something big.

Hopefully some time at the beginning of 2013 the bakery will be MOBILE. The Beast Bakery will be a mobile food vendor and it will roll through the streets of Sacramento offering sweet baked goodness to the masses. Every item baked will be made in small batches to guarantee top notch quality and maximize deliciousness. Everything is made 100% from scratch from real recipes that I have and continue to perfect.

Gorgeous, take a moment to check out the website. It might be changing soon but that’s only because evolution exists and in order to get better you have to go through some trials and tribulations. At the moment things are a little difficult because I’m doing them 100% on my own so please be patient.

Here’s to the future, our future.

Love always and forever more,
EA

Tasty Tuesday – Naughty Edition

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So you and your loverbuns haven’t been getting hot and heavy lately. Maybe the fire has turned into a fizzle or even gone out completely. Now I can’t fix your trust issues or pretend to be a couple’s counselor but I can recommend some recipes that will knock the socks off your boo and maybe even their underwear too!

If you take the much-needed time to follow these recipes and construct these love-potion worthy meals I guarantee you’ll be gettin’ laid tonight. After you wake up from that damn food coma you are going to fall into.

The Pioneer Woman hooks you up with this outstanding step by step recipe and cooking tutorial now how to make a mouth-watering, loin-tingling, sensational steak and rich creamy bleu cheese onion sauce. This is a man’s man kind of meal, but even the daintiest frilly femme will devour this steak slathered in sauce whole and beg for more. It may be a little heavy if you are planning a night of acrobatic sex-capades so be forewarned you may not be doing back-flips right after. So your special sexy someone doesn’t like bleu cheese, tell them to suck it up and enjoy this meal you slaved over the hot stove making them. I thought I didn’t like bleu cheese until I wrapped my lips around a fork full of this sauce and BAM. Mind.Blown.

So you can’t afford to take your loverface to Red Lobster, boo hoo. You probably have $20 available to spend on your efforts to get the love juices flowing again so stroll down to your closest grocery store and pick up the ingredients for this scrumptious seafood meal. Jenny’s Cook Book has a straight forward no frills recipe for Shrimp Linguine Alfredo that will rock your world. If you want to spice it up a bit add some cayenne pepper and call it a day. Seriously this is some good shit and if your honey doesn’t appreciate this meal, I’m sorry you need to dump that zero and get with a sexy sassy hero.
Ok you have two entrée options and you can pretty much add any kind of vegetable you want to these bad boys. Think something phallic. Just kidding… or am I? Now onto dessert!

You’ve had your fill of savory foods now it’s time for sealing the deal with dessert. Nothing gets your hormones pumping like this aphrodisiac-laden ingredient: CHOCOLATE. Smitten Kitchen is chalked full of delicious recipes from breakfast items to sweet sweet desserts. This Everyday Chocolate Cake can be accomplished by even the most novice baker, so don’t be scared. I’m trying help you get laid, not laughed at or broken up with. It’s almost as if Smitten Kitchen is in your house turning down the lights, playing some Marvin Gaye from your iPod and lighting all the candles in sight. If you can’t get your partner into bed with this cake, you might as well start packing your bags now and searching Craigslist for a new place to live. BTW I suggest anywhere that says, “Shared bathroom,” keep looking.
If you feel like the cake is too simple and you need to add even more odds in your favor add some chocolate sauce or strawberries. Bitches love strawberries.
So if you managed to get through this post without even the slightest rumble in your jungle and tingles south of the border then I’m sorry for ya’. But for those of you that are now randy and raring to cook up a love storm – Go forth and prosper and good luck gettin’ it on!
Cheers,
EA

Tasty Tuesday – Inside Out & Right-side Up Pineapple Cupcakes

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Last week I was craving Pineapple Upside Down Cake, but didn’t have have anything readily available to make it. The next morning it was haunting my taste buds so I decided to head to the store and gather up the ingredients. Later that day I experimented and made these bad boys. Oh man, they were delicious.

Ingredients for 18 cupcakes

  • 1 3/4 cups cake flour (sifted)
  • 1 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 3/4 cup white sugar
  • 1/4 cup light brown sugar
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
  • 3/4 cup milk
  • 1 (8 oz) can of crushed pineapple
  • Maraschino cherries (halved)
Brown Sugar Icing:
  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 1 cup brown sugar, packed
  • 1/4 cup milk
  • 2 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar (more or less, it depends on consistency)
  • hot water, optional

Cupcake Directions

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line a cupcake pan with paper liners; set aside.


  2. In a medium bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time; scrape down bowl, and beat in vanilla & pineapple.
  3. Add flour mixture and milk alternatively, beginning and ending with flour mixture.


  4. Divide batter evenly among liners, about three-quarters full each. Place a half maraschino cherry on top and put in to the center of the cupcake. Sprinkle brown sugar  over tops (*optional).
  5. Bake until golden and tops spring back to touch, about 20 minutes, rotating pan once if needed. Transfer pans to wire rack; cool completely.

Icing Preparation:


  1. In a saucepan, melt 1/2 cup butter. Add the brown sugar.

  2. Bring to a boil and lower heat to medium low and continue to boil for 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Add the milk and bring to a boil, stirring constantly.
  3. Cool to lukewarm. Gradually add sifted confectioners’ sugar. Beat until thick enough to spread. If too thick, add a little hot water.
Ice your cupcakes & enjoy the deliciousness.
Since this recipe is one of my original recipes please let me know what you think about it. If you have any questions leave them in the comments and I’d be glad to answer them as best as I can.
Cheers,
EA

Tasty Tuesday – Red Velvet Cupcakes

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My dad loves Red Velvet Cake. For Father’s Day my mom requested I bake some and bring them over to their house. Instead I wanted to surprise my dad and bake them for him at their house so they would be awesome and fresh. But, my dad said no way because the house would get too hot. So, we brought the ingredients over to Justine’s grandparent’s house and I baked them a few dozen of these lovelies.

Ingredients for 30 cupcakes

  • 2 1/2 cups cake flour (sifted)
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 4 large eggs
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1 (1 ounce) bottle red food color
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting:

  • 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened (don’t use whipped cream cheese)
  • 1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 2 tablespoons milk
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 (16 ounce) box confectioners’ sugar
 Directions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Mix flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt in medium bowl. Set aside.
  2. Beat butter and sugar in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed for 5 minutes or until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Mix in sour cream, milk, food color and vanilla. Gradually beat in flour mixture on low speed until just blended. Do not overbeat. Use an ice cream scoop to spoon batter into 30 paper-lined muffin cups, filling each cup 2/3 full.
  3. Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until toothpick inserted into cupcake comes out clean. Cool in pans on wire rack 5 minutes. Remove from pans; cool completely. Frost with Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting.
  4. Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting: Beat cream cheese, softened, butter, milk and vanilla extract in large bowl until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in confectioners’ sugar until smooth.
  5. Take a picture and post is on Instagram. EAT.

Enjoy!

I have a question for all of you readers—

Would you prefer recipes to be posted like this one or do you prefer tons of photos and step by step instructions?

Cheers,
EA