Last week was ca-razy. On Monday I got the “Ay-Okay,” from my fertility doctor to start taking Clomid. Monday was Clomid Day 1 and it went fairly well, mostly due to the fact I was excited to finally begin the process. I was a little peeved that I couldn’t start on Cycle Day 6 because the nurse at the infertility clinic said I would have to wait until my doctor instructed me to start. (Boo.)
Clomid Day 2 was a little tougher. After reading the side effects and being on the pills for a full day I started to feel exhausted and really emotional. Which is strange because the side effects don’t include excessive fatigue. I have never been so tired in my entire life. I felt like at any given moment I would close my eyes to blink and accidentally pass out for hours. If I wasn’t battling heavy eyelids and yawns I was on the verge of tears. My boss is rather high strung, not necessarily in a bad way but in the kind of way that causes you to feel her overbearing energy, and every time she spoke to me I wanted to just break down and sob. Weird.
Clomid Day 3 was a tiny better but still I was half narcoleptic and overly emotional. I think I started to become fairly bitchy as well. I was already tired, cranky and over it all that of course I would develop an attitude. I think I might have snipped a bit to my co-worker and I was certainly short with Justine a few times. I couldn’t help it because my hormones are getting all confused and discombobulated thanks to a new medication. That night after some snuggling time with Justine I cried, like sobbed, for a good five minutes and it was a sad cry. Not a cry session out of frustration but a lonesome, will this ever end kind of cry. It was uncomfortable and I hope to never have another one of those again.
Clomid Day 4 was just about maintaining and I think I did a good job at it. I knew I would be rounding the bend to the final day and after popping those two pills I felt like it was no longer an uphill battle. My emotions were in check and balanced for most of the day but I was so excited to finally get to Day 5.
Clomid Day 5 was the best day of the week by far. After taking the last two pills a feeling of accomplishment came over me. As silly as it may sound it felt good to finish off the pills and all the optimism and hope, that I’ve been trying to suppress in order to keep my standards low, welled up inside me. After dealing with the beginning of the week being so difficult and feeling invincible at the end I can honestly say I can do another round next month since this month was primarily just for practice.
I know this is only the beginning of my long difficult journey, but I know that it is making me a stronger more dedicated person.
Here’s to hoping I ovulate this week. *crossing fingers*