Need for Speed – Surprise Movie Review Friday!



If you love the rumble, the grumble, the roar and growl for big block engines and wide piped exhausts. The screeching and screaming of tires gripping and turning around corners to shave milliseconds during a high speed race. The glistening, gleaming, glittering paint on fast, strong, beautiful American muscle. Need for Speed should certainly  be the top on your “Need to See” movie list.

Now let me start by saying I may be a girly girl and know the slightest thing about cars but I do know a lot about movies and about what I like. I love old school American muscle and the majority of this movie was full of glorious and gorgeous American made cars from Dodge, Chevy and Ford.  I don’t even like Ford’s but the Mustangs in this movie made me drop my side-eye and feel all tingly inside. Near the end of the film the American cars seemed to have disappeared and high end, multi-million dollar European vehicles popped up left and right. The race scenes were full of shaky-camera effects making it seem like you were in the driver’s seat while twisting and flying down open streets which was an added bonus having seen it in 3D. Although the 3D didn’t add too much to the experience, meaning it wouldn’t be needed to shell out the extra couple bucks per ticket.

The acting could have been better but for an action movie it exceeded my expectations. The story line was weak, but I always enjoy a good revenge plot. It was a little muddled as to why the two lead characters had such a rivalry. The viewer is just supposed to “know why” and even though new reasons arise their back-story could have been explained in depth so it would make more sense. Early on in the film, like within the first 15 minutes,*SPOILER ALERT* the entire movie was predicted by one of the main characters. Foreshadowing is usually rather subtle but director Scott Waugh doesn’t understand subtlety very well.

It was nice seeing Aaron Paul not being a crackhead but he doesn’t play vengeance filled racer nearly as well as a tweaking drug addict. Imogen Poots was adorable and British and the supporting cast was around for tons of well placed laughs and much needed comic relief that kept the film rolling smoothly. The villain was  outlandishly evil and Michael Keaton plays crazy millionaire well, I mean come on now, he’s Beetlejuice. Time and space were used interchangeably because there were moments I thought, “Holy crap. How’d he get there so fast?” Or “Really?” Streets in bustling cities were almost always empty and cops were practically non-existent in rural towns and even in some larger cities. Of course during the important, climaxing, super charged race scenes cops swarmed the screen but not surprisingly were horrible at high speed pursuits.

If you’re going in expecting a newer faster version of the video game or an alternative to the Fast & Furious franchise you may be disappointed. However, overall this film was unexpectedly a fun joy ride and chalked full of fast paced, high intensity race scenes, obvious romantic situations, funny comic relief and beautifully loud cars. I’d suggest going into this film open minded.

Rating: B+


2014 – The Year of Change



It’s finally 2014. A new year and a new chance to do things right this time. Although it seems silly to wait until January 1st to pursue new hobbies, diets, exercising routines, etc. there is just something about the beginning of a new year that makes the future seem hopefully and anything attainable.

2013 as a whole was full of ups and downs. Very high highs and drastically low lows. There were times that I just wished time could stand still and yet pray for days to fly by. I married my best friend and we started the process to begin our family. I left one job to try something different. I managed to lose a little bit of weight only to gain some of it back during The Holidays, but I am ok with that.

Below is a list of my New Year’s Resolutions, although it is more a list of promises I’d like to keep for myself. Resolutions2

I’ve wanted to try my hand at yoga for sometime now because I find it fascinating. But, after watching a yoga video on Youtube a year or so ago and trying to bend and flex my pudgy body into even the simplest poses I gave up. Embarrassed in my own home, and I chalked it up to being a thin person’s exercise that I would try at a much later date when I wouldn’t get winded trying to touch my toes. Recently I found a few Instagram accounts of plus sized yogis bending and stretching and it gave me hope that even though I may be bigger than some, I could do yoga just the same. I’m excited to see where this new exercise takes me.

Another positive healthy promise I have for myself is to make better eating choices. Sometimes, ok most of the time, I make poor eating choices out of laziness or convenience. I’ve decided I want to try eating a Paleo diet and have done some research on what that will entail. I’m interested in the Paleo diet because it allows me to eat enough food without feeling restricted as long as the food isn’t processed or heavy on carbs. I think it’s something I can do and hopefully it will help me lose a few pounds to aid in the baby making process.

My third resolution to take better care of myself overall is a culmination of things. I tend to put others wants in front of my own, and I weigh people’s opinions of me heavily and I’m over it. At the end of the day I have to be the one living my life not letting others dictate it for me. Also, I’m lazy and don’t take the time to get pedicures or massages. I never meditate or reflect on a positive self image. I am excruciatingly hard on myself and I need to start practicing more self love and acceptance. I’m my worst critic and I need to start easing up so I can grow instead of harbor hurt feelings or notions of failure. I try to be humble but sometimes I should toot my own horn because not many people do it for me.

Lastly, I want to focus more on this blog, my writing and photography. I enjoy writing more than anything and I take pride in capturing moments on camera. I haven’t dedicated nearly enough time out of fear it won’t be good enough for readers or viewers. I hold myself back for reasons I’m still learning but I want to continue growing my writing abilities and photography skills.

Overall, this next year will be full of self growth and acceptance I’m finally ready for it. I’ve been putting it off for a long time because I’ve always thought that once I’m thin things will get much better and I can be a happier healthier me. But, why wait for something that may never come? I’m fully worth time and effort to be put back into myself that I put out to others.

I finally ready to say goodbye to 2013. Hello 2014.





Mission: BABY Update 1



What’s going on the Baby D making department? Nothing much quite honestly.

Thus far I have done 2 cycles using only Clomid to induce ovulation. The first month I was on 100mg and the second month they upped me to 150mg. Each month I received false positives on the Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPK) tests I took. But, the second month of Clomid I had an ultrasound that showed the largest follicle measured only 9mm. (Basically squat happened since most follicles are around 5-7mm at all times before ovulation. ) Because nothing really happened and I didn’t actually ovulate the cycle was canceled.

The next month, which was this month, my doctor’s put me on a “mixed” medication cycle. I not only took 100mg of Clomid for 5 days, I also injected 1 vial of Menopur once a day for 3 days. After another ultrasound the doctor measured my largest follicle at 7.5mm. Another bunk month. We canceled this cycle and now I’m just waiting until after Christmas to start taking Provera to bring on the next cycle.

I’ve felt fairly defeated and frustrated because I knew from the beginning that this was going to be difficult but my doctor’s wanted to “start things slow” instead of being more aggressive with medications. So far we’ve wasted a couple thousands of dollars just trying things out. Doctor’s think you’re made of money, because they are, and that you can waste time and energy each month because to them it’s just another work day. I’ve already seen three different doctors and finally the last one I met with understood me and my frustration.

He owned up to the mistake of taking things slowly and wasting an entire month on Clomid when they should have moved to a mixed cycle to begin with. It was relieving to finally feel like I was being listened to and having someone on my side. Next cycle will be much more aggressive but also much more expensive. I don’t like thinking that trying to have a baby is a strenuous financial burden, but it’s not just about the money. It’s expensive emotionally.


I spend hours, worrying, praying, hoping, being optimistic and focusing all of my energy on growing an egg that just might make it to an insemination. It’s stressful and then each month I get told either nothing happened or not enough happened. “We can just try again.” “Next month it might take.” “It’s your decision.” When really it isn’t. It’s exhausting and when people tell me, “It’s in God’s hands,” or it’s in “God’s time.” I get beyond outraged.

It’s not in HIS hands because it’s in my Doctor’s and my body’s ability and it’s in MY pocketbook. Until you have to deal with the stress and heartache of going through such a strenuous ordeal don’t tell me that it’s out of my control. People use God as excuse for their failures and not owning up to their mistakes. I’d rather thank Him for a miracle than be upset with Him for making me “wait for His timing.”

Anyways, I digress and that got a little heated. Sorry for that. Next cycle we might actually see more progress and I’m excited for that. We just have to get past The Holidays.

Hopefully 2014 will be our year for Baby D!


Doing The Most



I am well known for “doing the most” when it comes to pretty much everything. For years, I’ve put a lot on my plate in every aspect of the cliché. From going to college full time and working full time while trying to start a craft business after hours.  To having about a trillion tiny details for my wedding and hand-making almost everything myself. To even now when I’m trying to get knocked up while only having a few short months left on my parent’s awesome healthcare coverage and starting a new career opportunity.

Seriously, I have to stop. But, how does one stop trying to conquer the world without feeling hopeless or like a failure? During the holiday season I do the most by hand-making most gifts and baking for an army of gift baskets. This year I’ve decided to cease handmade gifts  and instead headed to big box stores and gave my money to “The Man.” I also made the decision that since Justine and I will be traveling so close to Christmas I would for-go giving the baked gift baskets.


Not making gifts was tough because I do enjoy making things and adding the personal touch to each individual present. But, spending money instead of time did take a small chip off the block. However, with the gift baskets, it’s been a tradition for me to spend an entire weekend elbows deep in batter and chocolate; creating delicious morsels to give to adoring family and friends. This part is much more difficult for me because I too love baking.

Even though I’m excited to not do the most, I feel like it’s not me and not fully Christmas. Hopefully, in the new year I won’t feel like I have to conquer the world and instead focus on just myself and what’s important to me.

As 2013 comes quickly to a close I have been reflecting much more on who I am currently and who I want to be.

What about you?


Clomid Crazy



Last week was ca-razy. On Monday I got the “Ay-Okay,” from my fertility doctor to start taking Clomid. Monday was Clomid Day 1 and it went fairly well, mostly due to the fact I was excited to finally begin the process. I was a little peeved that I couldn’t start on Cycle Day 6 because the nurse at the infertility clinic said I would have to wait until my doctor instructed me to start. (Boo.)

Clomid Day 2 was a little tougher. After reading the side effects and being on the pills for a full day I started to feel exhausted and really emotional. Which is strange because the side effects don’t include excessive fatigue. I have never been so tired in my entire life. I felt like at any given moment I would close my eyes to blink and accidentally pass out for hours. If I wasn’t battling heavy eyelids and yawns I was on the verge of tears. My boss is rather high strung, not necessarily in a bad way but in the kind of way that causes you to feel her overbearing energy, and every time she spoke to me I wanted to just break down and sob. Weird.

Clomid Day 3 was a tiny better but still I was half narcoleptic and overly emotional. I think I started to become fairly bitchy as well. I was already tired, cranky and over it all that of course I would develop an attitude. I think I might have snipped a bit to my co-worker and I was certainly short with Justine a few times. I couldn’t help it because my hormones are getting all confused and discombobulated thanks to a new medication. That night after some snuggling time with Justine I cried, like sobbed, for a good five minutes and it was a sad cry. Not a cry session out of frustration but a lonesome, will this ever end kind of cry. It was uncomfortable and I hope to never have another one of those again.

Clomid Day 4 was just about maintaining and I think I did a good job at it. I knew I would be rounding the bend to the final day and after popping those two pills I felt like it was no longer an uphill battle. My emotions were in check and balanced for most of the day but I was so excited to finally get to Day 5.

Clomid Day 5 was the best day of the week by far. After taking the last two pills a feeling of accomplishment came over me. As silly as it may sound it felt good to finish off the pills and all the optimism and hope, that I’ve been trying to suppress in order to keep my standards low, welled up inside me. After dealing with the beginning of the week being so difficult and feeling invincible at the end I can honestly say I can do another round next month since this month was primarily just for practice.

I know this is only the beginning of my long difficult journey, but I know that it is making me a stronger more dedicated person.

Here’s to hoping I ovulate this week. *crossing fingers*

Commence Mission: BABY!


Hey everybody!

I’ve been AWOL again. Things got pretty crazy with the wedding, more on that at a later date, but I will fill you in on what’s been happening on the Garcia-Santos Home Front.

After the wedding Justine & I went on our honeymoon and had hours upon hours of deep discussions about what comes next. As we planned our future we touched base on various topics and came up with some long term and short term goals. One short term goal was to quit my soul-sucking job and move on to somewhere that didn’t make me want to slit my wrists 40 hours a week.

Two weeks after returning from our honeymoon I did just that. It took a lot for me to just up and leave but it was well worth it. We struggled financially the month I was unemployed but we made it work. I found a position a month later by whim and am still enjoying the challenge of a completely different industry and learning an entirely new set of skills.

Baby D Onesie

We scheduled a meeting with my healthcare provider’s infertility clinic and we’ve gotten the ball started rolling for Mission: Baby! We started our Trying to Conceive (TTC) Journey in July and that month was full of testing, testing, and more testing. Filling out paperwork, answering questions, pee tests, blood tests, and don’t forget the very invasive in the southern region tests. Some were obviously more painful than others but all in all I’ve checked it all off the list of things to do.


After our meeting last month with our Fertility Nurse Practitioner, August was focused on taking my birth control to continue managing my hormones since I have been diagnosed with PCOS since the age of 18.  Since then we’ve just been playing the waiting game. We’ve been waiting for me to get my period so I can start taking Clomid pills to force an ovulation.

As of TODAY we are now on Cycle Day: 1! Which means I can start taking Clomid this Sunday. I’m beyond excited. As for Mission: Baby! it has OFFICIALLY started TODAY. AHhh!


Happy Friday the 13th!


Lez Be Honest


Let’s talk about a subject near and dear to my heart.


I’m a lesbian and a somewhat stereotypical one at that. I figured something was different with me at a relatively young age, but never could tell exactly what it was. I remember when I was in the fourth grade having the biggest crush on a girl that dressed and acted like a boy. Her name was Desiree, she was in the fifth grade and wore baggy jeans, baseball hats and sports Jerseys. She had her hair cut really short and spiked it with handfuls of gel just like every other guy in my grade.

I was infatuated with her, but felt really strange because every other girl my age was talking about kissing boys. So instead of expressing my want to kiss Desiree, I focused all my energy on trying to be like the rest of the girls. I over compensated and came off as “boy crazy” and liked all the popular boys every other girl liked while I silently ogled Desiree and the other tomboy-esque girls that came in and out of my school days.

Then in the seventh grade I went away to summer camp where I kissed a girl for the first time. It was a result of a dare but it meant more to me then when I was dared to kiss a boy from the opposing cabin. I didn’t tell any of my friends when I got back to school the following year but in the eighth grade I kissed another girl at a school dance. The boys in my grade loved it and she only kissed me for that very reason, to make the boys notice her.

During that summer I had an older boyfriend and just went along with the motions until my freshman year of high school. I had had a few boyfriends by then and clearly knew I really wasn’t attracted to guys my age or older but then I had my first full on girl crush. It wasn’t like another crush I had before and I knew then that I was probably a lesbian. She was a senior in my debate class and I had a sneaky suspicion that she batted for the girls team.

Needless to say nothing ever came of that situation and instead a few months later Justine came into my life and that sealed the deal. I knew that I was a lesbian and because I loved her with everything I had in my heart I couldn’t deny it or pretend to be like every other girl I knew.

I’m sure my mom has read through this post and may be upset but hopefully there will be more people out there that enjoyed this post because it might just be a retelling of their own story. I’m proud to be a lesbian and quiet honestly I love and support other lesbians.

Big, small, tall, thick, butch, stud, soft butch, femme, hippie, androgynous, Ellen DeGenerous, ummmm… there are so many others I can’t even remember right now. But, hopefully you get the point. Lesbians are pretty much amazing people.

As my favorite little beauty queen would say,